


I Wish You Love

by Tasyfa



Series: A Scattered Handful [6]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Coda, Hopeful Ending, M/M, POV Alex Manes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24224935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tasyfa/pseuds/Tasyfa
Summary: Sometimes on late night drives, when there's no one else around and no need to make eye contact, truths emerge.*****Set a few days after 2x09. Neutral references to other characters during the conversation.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: A Scattered Handful [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1527596
Comments: 31
Kudos: 69





	I Wish You Love

**Author's Note:**

> Written for two Malex dialogue prompts on Tumblr, which I've obviously combined. The first one is literally the first line in the fic - the bolded part - and the second one is also bolded but appears much later: " I love you. Present tense."
> 
> ~ Tas

"Guerin, **it would be nice if you could stop feeling guilty for things that are not remotely your fault**." 

"Oh, like you're one to talk, Manes," he shot back pointedly, and Alex sighed. 

"Yes, fine, I'm doing the same thing. Are you happy now?" His hands tightened on the steering wheel briefly before he brought the anger under control. 

Michael snorted, leaning back against the head rest as his hand beat a quiet, restless tattoo on the car door interior where it met the window. "Not sure I'd recognise happy if it bit me on the ass." 

A soft laugh escaped Alex. "I know what you mean." In his peripheral vision, he caught a smile crossing Michael's face. 

After several minutes of silence, Michael asked, "Mind if I turn on the radio? I won't fuck with your presets."

"No, it's fine. I usually plug in my iPod, anyway." 

"Of course you do," he chuckled. "I should have known." 

Alex looked over as he fiddled with the stations and, very maturely, stuck his tongue out at Michael, who smirked but otherwise left it alone. 

The crackling gave way to a mournful country croon that he recognised: Dolly Parton. He'd heard the cover version a lot more often but the original was pretty, too. Alex liked seeing how an artist put their own stamp onto a song; it helped him feel more confident in doing covers himself. 

Then Michael began to sing along, not quite under his breath, and emotion rose hard in Alex's throat at the low rasp of words. 

_And I will always love you  
I will always love you _

"Guerin," it came out more sharply than intended and he swallowed anything further at Michael's cynical laugh. 

"Is it because my singing is only marginally better than my dancing, or is it because you can't deal with the truth?" 

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Alex snapped, grateful he genuinely needed to keep his eyes on the road right now. It gave him something external to focus on. 

"Something you said the other night. Last year, you told me you thought I'd loved you for a long time, and I agreed. In between then and, like, now-ish, it's changed to, you know I loved you." He shook his head, sounding a little sad when he continued, "But you still haven't connected the final dot, Alex. **I love you. Present tense.** Probably future tense, too. I never stopped." 

He didn't resist the urge to grip the steering wheel this time. "Why are you telling me this, Guerin? Do you want to hurt me, or... I mean, it doesn't _change_ anything. Even if it's the truth, I'm not the only person you love. You have a girlfriend, a-and, and I'm, moving on, and..." 

"I know," he interrupted gently. "I'm not actually trying to hurt you, Alex. I-I just, I thought that, whatever you're doing with your life, whoever you're... spending your time with," he stumbled a little, pausing as if the idea of it felt as heavy to him as it did to Alex. "You should know that someone loves you. That you can be loved, because I do. I love you." 

"Guerin..." he whispered, and Michael grimaced. 

"Don’t, okay? It's... I was recently made aware that even if it changes jack shit, knowing that someone cares, it matters. That's it, that's all I have to say." 

_Oh is that all?_ Alex wanted to snark. But he didn't; he didn't. Instead, he drove, letting the words settle over him so he could reach past the knee-jerk reaction of pain. 

It did matter. It didn't - couldn't - mean the same thing it might have, once. Alex couldn't help thinking maybe that was a good thing, though. He'd held on to this vague dream since he was seventeen, this amorphous idea of a person who didn't actually exist. Who may never have existed, because they'd both been so tangled up in lies, they'd barely known themselves, let alone each other. 

If either of them were to let go of the undeserved guilt, maybe they needed to let go of the rest, too. Alex wasn't seventeen anymore, and he hadn't swung that hammer. He hadn't known the weight and shape of the load on Michael's shoulders. 

He did, now. And Michael knew his. 

Alex glanced sideways, clearing his throat before offering a sincere, "Thanks." 

A quick nod and a gruff, "Yeah," and Alex found himself smiling a little. 

No, it wasn't the same as when they were kids. Neither were they, in more ways than Alex cared to count. But there was a solid warmth low in his stomach, a man he trusted in the car beside him, and an unknown road in front of them. 

Maybe, just maybe, it would be even better than his teenaged self could have imagined. 

[Et fini]


End file.
